By Samuel Fishman
Go stargazing every night. The stars should always be white, yellow, or red. Yes, if they’re red, you’re okay. It can be a little disconcerting, but you’re safe.
If they’re green, you should throw something you can spare into the water. If they’re blue, you should spin in a circle and point in the opposite direction of the wind. If you don’t see any stars, turn on all the electronics. Blast your radio, flick your lights on, and run your engine. Then turn them off and lie down. Do not get up, even if you hear your name called.
Samuel Fishman (he/him/his) is a proprietor of post-modernist hogwash. A graduate of Oberlin College, Sam is currently employed as an SEO marketing writer in the Boston area. He aspires to be a professional creative writer, penning books about celebrity stalkers and witches who talk to ghosts to stop serial killers. You can hear him talk about ESPN poker documentaries on the Two Fish at the Table Podcast on YouTube.
Why we chose this piece: Sam’s voice in this piece is really intriguing—casual and direct yet also poetic and enigmatic. He stirs up a lot of questions in a small amount of space, yet there’s a sense of comfort in that ambiguity because the narrator knows exactly how everything should be handled in this oddly specific situation.